A story untold
by dark-an-twisted
Summary: basically a merder story meredith left boston because of an abusive boyfriend then starts her internship in seattle and meets derek but will he be able to protect her when that abusive boyfriend comes back. only time will tell hope to update soon...
1. Previously

Disclaimer- I do not own greys anatomy shonda does if i did there would be mcdreamy moments all the time...(...mcdreamy...)

**A story untold…**

I've added things in the past about stuff from new york and boston for both Meredith and Derek so here's a basic catch up

**MEREDITH**

Back in new York she had an abusive boyfriend who used her and cheated on her from day one so when she got offered an internship at both Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston and Seattle grace she accepted her internship at Seattle grace to escape him were she will meet Derek shepherd in a bar…

**DEREK**

Back in new York he was happy Addison never got caught cheating with mark but she did cheat and all of them moved to Seattle for a change… also though Derek happens to be friends with Meredith's abusive boyfriend… and Derek and Addison are having problems

So that's the history sorted now to the story

**Meredith…**

I was now onto my sixth shot of tequila and only feeling a buzz, I had a good hold when it came to alcohol. You wouldn't think it to look at me I was small and skinny with yellow bruises not that the bruises were noticeable they were always hidden, Ryan was smart that way and although sometimes I hoped he wasn't maybe someone who cared about me could help me but I didn't have any friends in boston they were all ryans my friends stoped being friends with me when I started going out with ryan they didn't like him and I couldn't blame them. I didn't like him. I even tried to break up with him but that only made him angry, I hated it when he was angry. that's when it hurt the most. So now I was

drowning my sorrows in tequila lots of tequila…

"hello" a guy looking all cheery sat next to me, why was he so happy. He probably has the good life good career loving family noting gone wrong, sometimes I wish I could have been like that, hell I always wish that I mean why did I get the workaholic mother, the father that left, the friends that could leave without a word and the abusive boyfriend. I know I'm bitter but can you really blame me after what I've been through.

"ah so your ignoring me" I couldn't help but look at him he had hair that looked like he had just come from the hairdressers a red top that fit him in all the right place showing his six pack only just with biceps that made you wish he had his arms around you and could never let go but the thing I couldn't help but notic first was his smile which could only be described as dreamy.

After that every thing was a blur… all I know is I woke up the next day with no clothes on while he was on the floor, also with no clothes…Damn he was hot.

**Derek…**

She was endearing like a drug, I couldn't help but walk up to her.  
"hello" I smiled as she turned to face me she was gorgeous, I couldn't help but notice that she was ignoring me I felt slightly let down.  
"ah so your ignoring me" she turned again to face me this time she noticed my shirt, my favourite shirt I knew it looked good on me, and that was all I remember I was already hammered…the next thing I knew I was awake in an odd quaint house naked getting a pillow thrown on my butt "get up, I have to go have a shower and go to work so you need to go bye"

I laughed realising she also had too much to drink "Derek" I could tell she was embarrassed "right, Meredith" I new at that moment that I would never forget that name, unless somehow I got permanent amnesia. Which so far isn't in my life plan unless of course you mean marital amnesia, well at least I wish I had. I got dressed quickly careful not to anger her, and scribled my number and 'if you need anything!' on a piece of paper before leaving it on her kitchen table before leaving for work.

**Meredith…**

My first day of work and I was dreading it, what if I mess up? What if I kill someone? What if my mum was right I don't have what it takes to be a surgeon?

Only all my other fears vanished and were replaced by another when I saw him at first I thought I was seeing thing then I looked again he was there and wearing surgical scrubs,

Damn.

I turned around and ran when he saw me only to be pushed moments later into the elevator.

"we need to talk"

I looked for his name tag

"dr. shepherd we will forget what happened last night and continue our lives as normal no more talking"

"dr. shepherd this morning it was Derek"

"dr. shepherd this is inappropriate I'm an intern and it seem's by the look of your scrubs you're an attending, you're my boss. Bosses don't sleep with their interns, so we will forget it ever happened agreed"

"I don't think I can forget maybe we could go out with me on Friday and we can discuss my forgetting"

"stop flirting, and stop looking at me life that"

"like what" he had an amused grin on his face "like you've seen me naked"

"but I have seen you naked"

"stop it"

**Derek**

I watched her attempt at being angry before pulling her into a soft passionate kiss I longed for since last night, she was stunned, I noticed her hesitation before she kissed me back even more passionately.

Suddenly she stopped, slapping me across my face.

"I suppose I deserve that"

"you do"

"I do"

"stop that"

"stop what"

"stop agreeing with me it's making it harder to hate you"

"I don't want you to hate me"

If looks could kill I would surly be on the way to the morgue right now, she turned to run away, but I grabbed her arm forcing her to stop.

"can we at least be friends"

I knew I couldn't be her friend but I couldn't let her leave like that.

"just friends" she stated before tugging her arm from my grip and walking away.

Just friends I didn't like the sound of that but I had no actual choice I'm married well for now, I got the divorce papers last night and was on my way to give them Addison when I saw Meredith, god she was beautiful.

**Meredith…**

God could my day get any worse I was late for work, I slept with my boss and kissed him, my patient died and I still have 26 hours left of work.

I can't stop thinking of him uggh why was he so… McDreamy, I could still taste his lips on mine, but I vowed before I got here I wouldn't get in a relationship again not after what ryan did I'm not ready for that I won't be able to take it again so I have to distance myself from everyone I won't go into another relationship I can't.

**Derek…**

"I just want a divorce Addison" why was she so annoying

"we can work on this Derek"

"no we can't, I'm sorry but I don't love you"

"well then I don't feel guilty"

"what would you have to feel guilty about"

"I slept with mark"

"you what"

"I slept with mark and I don't feel guilty"

"well then neither do I"

"you cheated on me"

"yes with Meredith"

"what, wait isn't she one of the interns"

"I didn't know that when I slept with her and she didn't know about me working here either"

"fine I'll sign"

I finally felt like all was right with the world Finally.

**Mark…**

"he knows"

"yes and we are divorced so we can be together"

"I can't"

"what"

"I can't be that guy I want to change find someone single and settle down with you the affair will just bring us down and I can't"

I wish I could have but I suppose I've done enough to Derek and I can't just continue "I've been dumped twice in one day god I hate this town"

I hated this feeling I've heard of it but I never actually experienced it. Its probably the worse feeling I've ever had, guilt.

**Derek..**

What was he doing talking to her, obviously flirting with her first my wife and now Meredith.

I couldn't help it I walked up to him and punched him.

I now felt content.

-----------------

ok so that was my first chapter of my first story i don't know if its any good but i hope it is...

reveiws would be great but i don't need then to carry on writing i write because i enjoy it so i hope i can get an updat soon, ideas would be great and i will post your name to thank anyone who's idea i may have used

my first fic yay---this is not a oneshot


	2. the truth

Chapter 2

Meredith…

What the hell was that.

Really, I mean what did mark do to deserve that.

"What was that" I questioned helping Mark to his Feet.

"that was my wife's Mistress"

I froze, not because of the mistress part but the wife part. What wife?

I couldn't take it I was afraid of letting my emotions go about his lying, so I made up a stupid excuse about having to check up on my patient.

I didn't even have a patient I just couldn't stand it I had to get out of there.

So I did what anyone with a brain would have done I avoided I'm an avoider I avoided my mother and ryan by moving away and got avoided by my own father and friends but honestly I can't blame them.

Put in their position I would have avoided me to, problem is I can't my past always catches up with me sooner or later.

My only wish is that ryan wouldn't that is a past that I would happily avoid.

I just hope I can.

Derek…

How could I have been so stupid as to have said wife.

I saw her freeze up, she mad some excuse about checking up on her patient.

I couldn't tell if she was lying I don't know her that well but I could tell she felt out of place deceived I just wish I could find her and talk to her.

That was my new mission to find Meredith.

First place I went was to Bailey she had to know who Meredith's patient today was so that's where I went I found her just as she was going into the elevator(lift).

Turns out Meredith was in the pit, so she didn't actually have a patient.

I was starting to get worried, she must hate me, and not in the whole teenagers you won't let me go to this party so I hate you kind of crap but the whole you lied to me and I don't think I could ever forgive you kind of way.

You know the bad way.

I had to give up on my unsuccessful search when I was of the clock so I went to drown my sorrows in scotch, the same drink I had when I first met her, double scotch single malt.

That's when I finally found her she was sat just feet from me it took her a moment to notice me and when she did she went straight out the door no hesitation, just straight out.

I would have followed her only joe stopped me before I could leave my stool.

"give her some space, you lied pay the price"

I just looked in my glass it was still full but it wasn't going to be for long as for the hangover well like joe said I had to pay the price.

I just wondered what the price was.

Meredith…

He's a lying cheating bastard and I'm a dirty mistress who didn't even know she was a mistress.

Talk about stupid.

I saw him in the bar tonight he actually look sad.

I couldn't stand being in the same room though so I left.

I actually thought he might follow me so he could give me his explanation talk about ironic the avoider actually didn't want to avoid, I suppose when you've been doing it all you're life you start to get tried of it.

I was tried and for once I didn't want to avoid so as soon as I see his tomorrow at work I would talk to him.

Yes that's what I was going to do, AS IF. 


	3. the Talk

**sorry this chapter dead short but I wanted to update as quickly as possible because i know i hate it when the fanfiction i read takes ages to update so thats probably why i'm rushing things-sorry about that-please reveiw if there's anything you thing i should put in or how you think i could improve my writing or my stort it would be very helpful-after so many chapters i will put a special mention to every one who reveiwed my story - i hope to make my story long but if i struggle i've got a secret idea for a sequel anywhay...**

**-------------**

**Chapter 3**

Meredith...

There he was just a couple meters away from me and I couldn't do it.

That's when he saw me I saw him shift before coming towards me and I freaked I turned quickly and stated to walk away.

Problem though walking not really faster than running he caught up with me before I could get away and dragged me into an on call room.

"Meredith" he questioned me

"Dr shepherd" I acknowledged him and had a failed attempt to escape through the door.

"stop, stop calling me Dr shepherd. I know I lied or well didn't tell you but please just listen to me."

"and what exactly is it you want me too listen to do you have some soppy speech planned saying how you're sorry"

"what do you want me to say"

"Meredith I'm going to go home and put my head in the oven cause I can't go on living knowing what a heartless bitch I am something like that" I could feel my anger getting the better of me.

"so you want me to kill myself"

"no I want you to tell me the truth, and only then will I consider being your friend"

"fine, me and Addison a have been having problems over the last couple of years. We just distanced ourselves and I fell out of love with her so I got the divorce papers signed three days ago. That night in the bar I wasn't expecting to go home with you and I didn't expect to see you again so I didn't tell you I should have but I didn't and I'm sorry"

"first of all Addison as in Montgomery as in OB/GYN attending, secondly you have a lot of making up to do"

"how about you come to a party with me in Boston its my friends bash"

I froze it couldn't be Ryan I was just being paranoid.

"I'm not really into that stuff, we can talk later. Honestly its gonna take a hell of lot more than a party to get me to forgive you. Oh and don't think you've avoided my question Addison as in OB/GYN?"

I sure as hell hope not its already awkward working with Derek I didn't need it to be awkward working with Addison as well.

I noticed his hesitation.

"unfortunately"

"you are so going to pay, SERIOUSLY" and on that note I left the room.

Only I still couldn't get my mine of that party it couldn't be Ryan's could it he often had party's unfortunately.

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**first of all thanks for reading my story it means alot to me and don't blame me for my bad writing i'm only fourteen and really crap at english**

**oh and I have to say the part in the middle about the putting his head in the oven I stole from veronica mars-great program but can't think of anything for fanfiction to do with it so I'm sticking to greys.**


	4. The Tears

Hiya thanks for reading my story ect...

**song --- honestly **_by_** bethany joy lenz**

Chapter 4

_**Honestly I didn't mean to cry so hard the heartache was pouring in like rain  
I didn't mean to show I care  
Honestly I didn't mean to laugh so loud but it just sounds so absurd to say that you want me  
Say that you need me after everything you've done  
Really truly I didn't mean to hurt you I just thought that maybe now  
We'd have better luck the second time around  
Its always better the second time I hear**_

Mark…

She was just in front of me, I couldn't help it.

I'm a man whore I flirt.

"you know I think you must be the cutest intern I've come across"

I stared at her hope building inside of me that she might actually flirt back

"and you must never get girls if that's your best pick up line"

"I have plenty other great pick up lines you can here then tonight if you would like to accompany me to dinner"

"in your dreams if fact scratch that cause even the dream me isn't interested in you"

And on that note she left, seriously the other day we were, laughing and joking together and now she was blowing me off.

I mean I know I'm the dirty mistress but girls never say no to me ever, seriously.

**_Find me in the evening when your ready to dance  
And I will take you to places where you never thought you'd have the chance to love  
Love  
Love is all we have  
I will run myself in circles here without you_**

Please believe that I tried my best to forget you but the memories keep flooding back like tears  
I didn't mean to fall in love  
But sitting here waiting for this is torture  
I'm so glad you're far away  
Is that a terrible thing to say?  
Well, I wonder if you're ok  


Meredith…

Ok so I thought my first day at work was bad, well not compared to this one.

I'm working with Addison Montgomery-Shepherd yes that's right she didn't want to change her name, isn't that just great, oh and just so you know I am being sarcastic.

Oh and I have a small hunch she knows about me and her husband.

"so grey, you make a habit of sleeping with peoples husbands?"

"excuse me?" I was literally in shock I mean had Derek actually told her, Satan of all people

Yes I call her Satan Christina thought of it we're quite close, she's the only one I've told about me and Derek.

"you heard me, I'm just curious if you screw around with a lot of peoples husbands or if you just wanted to screw mine"

"I thought you were divorced"

"the papers are being filed and we go to get it finalised on Tuesday, but don't get your hopes up I am not going to let this divorce happen. I know my husband and all he wanted was someone to screw so he screwed you he told me it meant nothing to him, you mean nothing to him"

I just kept thinking to myself, it isn't true it can't be true.

I couldn't have meant nothing to him.

I kept denying it until the tears just flooded there way out and I couldn't stop them, then I saw him again.

I an I ran I ran as fast as I could breathing heavily as I heard him running after me but didn't stop I wouldn't, and when I did stop it wasn't out of choice.

I was never a great runner but I wasn't crap, only he still caught me with a questioning look on his face.

**_Find me in the evening when your ready to dance  
And I will take you to places where you never thought you'd have the chance to love  
Love  
Love is all we have  
I will run myself in circles here without you  
Oh, I would run myself in circles here without you  
Oh I've tried and tried  
And I can't hide from your love  
Darlin' its too late to show me your intentions  
You know we've got to find a way to get past all the implications, every situation  
Every complication that we've come from  
Love is all we have  
I will run myself in circles here without you_**

Derek…

I saw the tears she was in pain not physically but still in pain so I ran after her I had to know she was ok that she was going to be fine.

I don't know why but I cared in a big way like I was falling in love with her.

No that can't be, I'm crazy that must be it, I'm crazy.

"Meredith," I caught up with her grabbing her arm in an attempt to stop her.

She turned to face me her eyes filled with tears.

"Meredith what's wrong"

"you, you're my problem"

I could feel my heart break at that statement.

"me, what did I do I mean I know you said you still haven't forgiven me for the wife thing, but I can tell this is something different, so please let me in."

"it's not the wife thing, it's the whole messing with my brain thing, you slept with me, I don't just sleep around and then you kiss me and I find out today from your wife I might add that you were just screwing me over, and now your not even getting a divorce"

I felt as though the world had been turned upside down, noting she had said was true or made any sense.

"wait what, what made you think I was just screwing you?"

"you wife told me you told her that"

"she lied, when I slept with you I wasn't sleeping around. The next day when I kissed you I couldn't stop myself it's your hair and you ineffectual fists and all the time I've been away from you have been the worst of my life and this whole being friends thing, honestly I can't do because during the past four days I have fell in love with you. I am in love with you"

I pulled her slowly yet swiftly into an embrace where I was positive she could feel me erection through my scrubs, and I kissed her with a kiss that was full of passion and salt from her tears.

I felt like I could never let her go.

I felt like we have been kissing for hours yet when we broke apart I still felt it was to soon.

"Derek" she had stopped crying "what are we doing, I mean is this a relationship or what is this"

"I would like this to be a relationship" I simply stated

"me too"

And within moments we were entwined again in fiery kiss full of love and lust.

"huh hum"

I knew straight away who it was and turned slowly to come face to face with Richard Webber.

"in my office both of you NOW" I swear the death people of the first floor must had been able to hear him he was that loud.

We were doomed.

**_Darlin' love, love  
Love is all we have  
I will run myself in circles here without you

* * *

_**

yay new chapter up i hope its good not finished the next one yet but may finish it tonight or tomorrow cause i'm supposed to be asleep already...heeeheeeheeeeeee

love to hear your thoughts - review please although not nessacary for me to keep writing - even if your going to say its crap

**song --- honestly **_by_** bethany joy lenz**

thanks also to every one who have been reading my story it means alot

**next time - what will the cheif do about meredith and derek and what does addison have up her sleeve...**


	5. the EX

**hiya sorry haven't updated latley fanfic having some kind of problem so I had to export a chapter then edit it so it was my new chapter and then I had to put the songs on and post ugh**

**song - run **_by_** snow patrol**

**_and_**

**where does the good go **_by_** Tegan and Sara**

-**sorry** about punctuation its one of my many flaws in english :'(

* * *

_**I'll sing it one last time for you  
Then we really have to go  
You've been the only thing that's right  
In all I've done **_

And I can barely look at you  
But every single time I do  
I know we'll make it anywhere  
Away from here

Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear

**Derek…**

"WHAT WAS THAT JUST THEN TELL ME I DID NOT JUST SEE MY BEST ATTENDING AND THE PERSON WHO IS CLOSEST TO A DAUGHTER I HAVE EVER HAD KISSING… ANSWER ME DAMMIT"

I was seriously worried this was bad this was really bad.

"chief this isn't going to effect our work-"

"you think this is about work, this is about who you were kissing Derek I love Meredith like an only child and you will hurt her and I cannot allow that she is like my daughter"

"chief I love her and I will never hurt her ever"

"that was sweet and all but can we stop talking like I'm not in the room cause I'm right here"

"sorry" we both murmured

"thank you"

"look Meredith I love you and I would give anything if you please don't finish with me because of this"

"you think Richard scares me, even on Halloween he can't be scary"

"so your not going to finish with me"

"I'm not going to finish with you"

A sense of relief washed over me as I allowed myself to relax.

"Derek, Meredith if you insist on seeing each other I can't stop it, but Derek if you ever hurt her your career as a surgeon will be long gone"

"yes chief"

"now go and keep this thing a secret, all I need right now is rumours' cause when there are rumours' people get distracted from there work."

And so we left, I noticed Meredith was obviously going back to work so I dragged her into the nearest on call room.

"what the-"

I cut her of with yet another kiss.

**_Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say _**

To think I might not see those eyes  
Makes it so hard not to cry  
And as we say our long goodbye  
I nearly do

Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear

**Meredith…**

The kiss tasted sweet almost like candy.

It was pure bliss, that's when we lost control of our bodies.

He lifted my scrub top of my head breaking the kiss, as I lifted his over his head.

We inched closer together as we pulled our pants down.

We kissed yet again, it was like I was at peace with the world until he pulled back and locked the door.

I was embraced in his arms as he trailed kisses along my collarbone…

**_Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say _**

Slower slower  
We don't have time for that  
All I want is to find an easier way  
To get out of our little heads

**Derek…**

"that was…"

"amazing" I finished for her

"yer"

"defiantly"

We were rushing to get dress, Meredith was just paged by Satan and I have surgery.

This was a good day, sex and surgery my two favourite things

**_Have heart my dear  
We're bound to be afraid  
Even if it's just for a few days  
Making up for all this mess _**

Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear

**Meredith…**

I finished the ton of work Addison gave me, seriously no joke there was loads of work honest.

Anyway once I'd finished that TON of work I went to watch Derek's surgery he was very talented at a lot of things.

He noticed me only for a moment or so but he looked up and saw me, we had this kind of eye moment thing you know like eye sex.

**_Where do you go with your broken heart in tow  
What do you do with the left over you  
And how do you know, when to let go  
Where does the good go, where does the good go_**

**A couple week's later…**

**Derek…**

"please, please, please go with me" god she was stubborn.

"fine, but when I want to leave we leave agreed"

"great, I'll book transport and a hotel. Oh and Meredith, I love you" I love how that sounds

"I love you too"

"remember party's tomorrow"

"I know Derek"

I didn't quite understand why she was so dead set against going to the party, but I'd finally convinced her so that was that.

**_Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive  
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go  
Look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love  
Look me in the heart and un break broken, it won't happen  
It's love that breaks the seal of always thinking you would be  
Real, happy and healthy, strong and calm, where does the good go  
Where does the good go_**

**The next day…**

**Meredith…**

He was watching me sleep again

"stop watching me"

"I like watching you" he was smiling his McDreamy smile again, damn that smile was irresistible.

"your too happy"

"the divorce is official today and we are going to Boston why wouldn't I be happy"

"what time is it?" I felt like I'd slept for days.

"one, we leave in an hour"

I jumped at that one already, I rushed to get dressed and met Derek in the kitchen with my suitcase

"I figured my Izzie and George would have found out about you, the amount of time you spend here"

"we're good sneakers"

"not there just really bad detectives, maybe they should hire veronica mars."

"ha-ha very funny, we should go now if we're gonna make on time I'll just put your suitcase in the car."

**_Where do you go when you're in love and the world knows  
How do you live so happily while I am sad and broken down  
What do you say it's up for grabs now that you're on your way down  
Where does the good go, where does the good go_**

**At the hotel…**

**Derek…**

Damn why did she have to look so good in that dress.

I walked closer to her until we were inches apart.

My lips brushed against hers softly at first until I couldn't control myself and led her into a more passionate until we were forced to part or suffocate.

"we should get going" I said grabbing our coats and opening the door for her.

I noticed her hesitate slightly before heading towards the door.

Our hotel was only around 5 minuets away from the party so we walked in a comfortable silence.

Just minuets after entering the house Ryan made a sudden appearance.

I notice Meredith tense up.

"Derek great to see you, its been too long and Meredith nice to see you again"

Again what did he mean again, I looked at her for an answer but she was out the door before I got one.

I ran and ran after her the word again still playing like a broken record in my mind.

When I finally caught her she was in tears, I pulled her into a hug realising the question I needed to ask her would have to wait until tomorrow.

Meredith needed me, my Meredith needed me right now.

* * *

**I tried to make it slightly different that expected - don't worry Ryans part will get bigger and derek may or may not find out about the abusive side of ryan reveiw what you think i should do cause i have two different ideas for my story depending on what you think.**

**again sorry about puncuation i'm only 14 and have my sats coming up, this I hope wil help me with english cause thats what i suffer at i've got that national adverage on my mocks but my school a grammar school so they expect us to get a level or two higher, maths and science i find easy luckly- but rubbixh at english**

**-constructive critism welcome**

**-reveiw your thoughts please - laura/me**


	6. Secret storm

**sorry i've had a ton of exam's but i'm back yay**

**r+r**

---

**Chapter 6 - secret storm**

**Meredith**

He took me back to the hotel.

He respected my privacy and didn't ask.

He was disappearing slowly as he realise I didn't trust him as much as he did me.

"are you ok" he asked

"fine"

"you say that so much that it's no longer got the same meaning coming from you"

"I'm fine"

"I'm here for you, you know"

"I know"

"sure"

"yer I'm sure"

I wasn't sure but I wasn't going to let it show so I hid my pain, the scar's, the memories.

I quickly got changed and into the bed when I felt an arm creep around my waist, I automatically tensed up.

" what's wrong"

Damn I had hoped he wouldn't notice.

"nothing, I just don't feel comfortable being touched in that way"

"you've never minded before, if fact if I remember correctly you rather enjoyed it"

"that was then, this is now"

There was a minuet of silence before Derek took his hand away.

I climbed out of bed and got my clothes out of my bag changing quickly.

"where are you going he asked"

"Just going for a walk"

"in the middle of the night, you don't even know your way around here"

"I used to live in Boston, and I like the dark it calms me.

Derek didn't say anything I suppose he was shocked he didn't know those thing's about me, but I'm secretive I don't let people in that easily.

Outside

I'd walked a couple of block's before I was sure someone was following me I made a break for it and ran.

I would stay strong, slowly I gained Speed but was stopped suddenly.

"let me go" I cried "let me go Ryan…"

I turned around only to come face to face with fate…

---

hope you like it reveiw's are nice sorry it took so long


	7. no one cares

**hiya again**

**---**

**Chapter 7 - no-one cares **

**Meredith **

"Derek" I nearly jumped out of my skin

"come back"

"what?"

"come back to the hotel I can't sleep knowing your out here one you own"

"ok"

He grabbed my hand to hold as we walked back but I flinched and pulled it back

"Ok what is that about"

"what is what about?" I asked nonchalantly

"the no touching thing you were never this bothered about me touching you in face if I remember correctly you rather liked it…" he was livid, I stood there shocked at his out burst I hadn't meant to pull away I just got scared again being touched made me think of Ryan how he had been so gentle at first but then changed just like Derek was changing now… "do you not want to date me anymore is that it because I think I deserve a reason for why your being so absent in our relationship all of a sudden."

"I do want to date you I just find… never mind"

"never mind… you know I love you but right now I don't think your being you"

"Derek…"

"no I'm going to give you a chance but I don't think my heart can afford anymore right now"

We were at the hotel door now going in when I stopped dead in my tracks… Ryan

"mere nice to see you again after you ran off on me or flew off which ever it was"

I turned to Derek in vain hope he could protect me, no he wouldn't need to protect me ryan wouldn't hit me in front of him besides I was abused almost everyday about three months ago I could handle it now…or not.

"Derek"

"you and Ryan are going to talk, he told me what happened, that you were happy when you just left no note no warning nothing… I can't date you until you and him can figure this out"

And with that he closed the door and I was left to my impending doom…

---

ooooooooooooooooh a cliff R+R


	8. let it be

hiya again again

---

Chapter 8 - let it be - the beatles (when I find myself in time's of trouble) 

Meredith 

I was shaking actually shaking so much for staying strong…

"well aren't you going to talk to me"

I stayed quiet I didn't know what to say to that

"TALK TO ME DAMNIT"

I jumped back tear's in my eye's.

"Rya…" SLAP!!! I grabbed my face in shock not that I didn't believe he would do it but rather I didn't believe he would have done in right then in that moment.

"you're a slut you know that right… you've been with everyone"

It wasn't true I had only been with him and Derek…

**_::Flashback:: _**

**_Meredith _**

**_My first day of school in san Francisco _**

**_"Hiya are you new here" _**

**_"yer my first day" he was hot and seemingly charming. _**

**_"you want me to show you around I have a free period" _**

**_He seemed so innocent and sweet maybe he was back then or maybe the beginning was just an act. _**

**_Two month's later I was his girlfriend, three months later the accusations' started, one more month the beatings then he raped me… _**

**_"Ryan I'm not ready" _**

**_He had me pinned to the bed, I would have shouted for help but once again we were at his house, no one was there. _**

**_"oh right you'll do it with everyone else but not your boyfriend" _**

**_"Ryan I'm a virgin I never did anyone" _**

**_He had finished un buttoning my top when I started to button it up again… _**

**_"if that's how you want to play I brought some props" _**

**_He brought some handcuffs out of his pocket grabbing my wrist's hastily and chaining them both to the head board. They were proper handcuff's as well his dad was a cop and would give Ryan things like that in the hope he would turn out just like him. _**

**_"Ryan please don't" _**

**_He wasn't listening he started nibbling at my neck it felt like a dirty vacuum I just wanted him to stop. _**

**_"this is taking to long he stated going to his draw and pulling out a pair of scissors, he quickly made his way to the bed cutting my top and skirt down the middle leaving me in only my lace bra and panties. _**

**_He started kissing down my stomach which was turning at this point, I was fighting back tears although I new my face looked distraught. _**

**_He slowly cut down the middle of my bra and the sides of my panties. _**

**_He slowly began massaging my breast, then mad his way down to my clit he reached for it massaging it gently before pushing himself in moving rapidly to please himself as I cried out in pain. _**

**_"p… ple… please… st.. op" I cried _**

**_He had just about finished and pulled himself out when… _**

**_"now that's not good for the ego" _**

**_And with that he thrust himself back in… _**

**_I blacked out the rest of that night. _**

**_::flashback over:: _**

I could see the anger in Ryan's eyes.

He pulled my hair back and put his mouth on my cheek next to my ear…

"you will go out there, tell Derek you never loved him and you ran from me because you were scared of your feelings and that you gave your heart to me and haven't got it back because you don't want it back, and if you ruin this you won't be the only one who'll end up paying the price"

Still holding my hair back he put his lip's on top of mine and kissed me, then the same thing happened as that dark night at his house (I'm not going into detail because I've had to do that before and chocked back some mcvomit not planning it again)

I walked out the hotel room in the dressing gown the hotel had provided.

"Derek"

"have you got past it? The phase of running away, I need to know because I can't handle losing you"

I had tear's in my eyes, I was about to break his heart and mine.

"I love Ryan and I'm staying with him" I blurted out

Ryan came up behind me, as I gave Derek a pleading look, my way of saying save me!

"Derek please-"

I was cut short by Derek

"was I just a game to you Meredith?" he questioned the anger rising in him

" no Derek I-"

DEREK

"Don't" I shouted "don't talk to me, I can't even look at you right now, right now I HATE YOU and I don't ever want to see you again EVER"

I was lying I know that but I had to hurt her almost as much as she hurt me.

I walked away tear's falling, I booked a flight and was on the next plane back to Seattle.

---

just posting all updates hope you like


	9. scratch

**Chapter 9 - Scratch - Kendall Payne (it's a big girl world now full of big girl things and everyday I wish I was small) **

**Another couple of month's had past and Meredith was a wreck**.

**Meredith **

"it can't be"

I was looking at the three pregnancy test all with the same colour blue which in my case meant I was pregnant, that wasn't my problem though well it is a problem because of the beating.

But who was the father…

I quickly shuffled the test's in a pile throwing them in the trash and getting my duffle bag ready to run again after a meeting with Boston general's chief. (oh she transferred I didn't mention that but thought that it would get really boring…)

"is there any chance I can transfer any hospital anywhere just not here"

I wasn't asking I was begging.

"there's only one other hospital that we can get you a spot in"

I nodded

"I'll take it" I said the relief hit me greatly.

"it's Seattle grace"

I hesitated I wasn't sure if I was ready to see Derek again he had walked away and I felt betrayed but I still knew it wasn't his fault he didn't know.

"how soon can I start."

There's a flight tonight and you could start tomorrow if your ok with that.

"Sure" at least I didn't have to stay in Boston with Ryan anymore.

The next day WORK

Derek

I have yet to go a day without thinking abut her, wishing, hoping thing could have gone differently.

"Derek"

And now I'm hearing voices great just great… I felt a small hand pull me into an on call room with the lights switched off.

"Meredith" wtf was she doing hear

"don't ignore me please" I could tell she was on the verge of tears

"don't give that crying crap you left me you don't get to cry"

"no you left me you left me in boston"

"no I didn't I hate Boston I never wanted to go there you convinced me to go"

"you chose to stay, and I hate you for that"

She was full on crying now.

"I hate you so much I love you"

I lent forward grasping her head pulling her into a soft sweet kiss…

I started moving my hand's under her shirt and lifted if of when she winced in pain, I turned the light on and got to see Meredith properly.

She had bruises all over, she reached for her scrub top.

"who did this" I asked

"don't act like you care"

"I do care" I claimed taken aback by her statement

"it's nothing I got mobbed"

"do you know who did it?" I questioned on quite believing that she was telling the truth

"no" she stated simply

"how did you get the yellow bruises because you've got bout yellow and purple bruises… OMG did Ryan do this to you"

She looked away obviously struggling to think of what to say

"he did didn't he, Meredith I'm so sorry I would never have left if I knew"

I pulled her tightly in my arm's not wishing to let go of her.

"it's alright I'll protect you no ones going to hurt you again, I promise."

---

i've been counting on nothing  
but he keeps giving me his word  
and i'm tired of hearing myself speak  
do you get weary? do you ever get weak?  
how do you dream when you can't fall asleep?

i've been wondering what you're thinking  
and if you like my dress tonight  
would you still say you love me under this ordinary moonlight?  
i'm so afraid of what you'd say

i'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch  
i'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance

i used to think i was special  
and only i have proved me wrong  
i thought i could change the world with a song  
but i have ended up in india  
with no map to guide me home  
strangest place i think i've ever been  
and all this time i thought that we were friends  
my stubborn will is learning to bend

i'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch  
i'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance

---

hiya R+R


	10. don't walk away

**hope you like**

**---**

**CHAPTER 10 - Don't walk away - ****Bethany**** joy ( I could never leave you ) **

**Meredith **

He knows should I be happy, sad I don't know what to do.

"I'll protect you." he had said that, but that was what made me even more hesitant if Derek tried to protect me he would only get more hurt.

"no"

"what" he questioned.

"no one can help me"

"don't Derek don't"

"ok, but can I ask you a question?"

"what?"

"will you ever be able to forgive me for leaving you, I honestly thought you wanted to stay"

"It wasn't your fault I told myself everyday it was your fault but I was wrong, you only did what you thought was right."

"it doesn't matter I should have thought for your heart"

"I made you think I'd given my heart away and that wasn't a lie the lie was telling you I'd given it to Ryan when I'd given it to you and I don't want it back"

I couldn't believe I had just said that, he was frozen he didn't feel the same way.

"I love you Meredith"

"I love you too"

We meshed together in a hot fiery kiss before finally breaking apart.

"will you stay with me tonight" I ask tear's from before still in my eyes.

"sure"

RYAN

Pregnant seriously, she's pregnant and she run's away again, what she isn't smart enough to know is I know where she's gone she's gone back to him, it's the only place she could have gone.

But I'm going after her and my baby yes my baby I will make sure it's my baby no matter what happens that will be my baby and Derek will know it to be my baby.

**A COUPLE OF DAY'S LATER **

**RYAN **

There it is his trailer and the light's still on.

Derek will never know what happened Meredith on the other hand will have to live with the guilt of knowing this was her fault.

**Mark **

"so how are thing's"

I was talking to Meredith we had made good friends, I knew she had a dark and twisty past but she was still to stubborn to tell me.

"thing's are fine Derek and I are getting past things and things are fine"

"that's great if you ever need anything just know that I'm here"

"I know"

I meant it for once I was going to be just friends with someone.

**Meredith **

I just walked into an on call room when I got a chill.

"hello Meredith"

Again damn.

I turned around to come face to face with ryan.

"Ryan"

I made a dumb move for the door only to be grabbed be ryan.

"be careful, you wouldn't want anything to happen to our baby now would you"

He knew, how could he know.

"so he's what's gonna happen this time you say we decided to move to Seattle because we didn't want to raise our child in Boston got it, you came early for your work and I couldn't come then because of my work, understand?" he questioned placing both his hand's on my abdomen.

I nodded, for once I wasn't letting tear's fall I knew Derek would save me. I just knew.

"now I'd get back to your work I heard there was a head trauma that just came in."

I walked out to the pit to see the work of Ryan.

Derek was just waking up from consciousness.

"Derek, Derek what happened to you?"

I knew the answer but I couldn't let the nurses know that.

"w… who… who are you… what happened… where's Addison I need Addison"

I ran out of the room crying, he forgot me.

I was wrong he can't save me now, no one can…

---

R+R please


	11. heartbreaker

**Hiya I'm back i only got 1 reveiw after i updated last time and i updated five times whick makes me sad :( would i get more reveiws if i kill mer and der lol**

**---**

Chapter 11 – _**I bruise easily by Natasha Bedingfield(I bruise easily so be gentle when you handle Me)**_

**Mark**

Addison's a bitch **(A/N my favourite line)**

She is lying to Derek and I can see Meredith act like she doesn't care but I've seen her in the hallway looking into Derek's room and cry I almost went up to her but Ryan went up to her instead… wait how did she know Ryan.

**Derek**

I could see my doctor, mark and Ryan talking outside my room before coming in.

"Hey Derek long time no see"

"Well that's what you get for living in Boston"

"So what's up with you anyway?"

"A concussion and some memory loss it's only a bit I'm sure I've not forgotten anything important"

"Yer, nothing important" mark agreed he seemed slightly sarcastic but I shrugged it off

That's when Richard came in talk about full house.

"Everyone out I need to talk to Derek" he ordered

As they all left I looked at each of them my eye's lingering on my doctor I think it was doctor grey a bit longer.

"I a soon as I heard, Derek what's the last thing you remember?"

"Chief are you ok"

"Yer just are you still with Addison"

"O course I'm still with Addison why wouldn't I be"

Tat's when he went for the door he seemed disappointed sad and upset the problem was I didn't know why.

**A couple month's later Meredith was beginning** **to show mark was getting more and more wary of Ryan's attitude's towards Meredith, Derek and Addison were at there best.**

"Derek do you ever think of renewing our wedding vows?"

I was taken aback the answer was no I mean before my accident we weren't really at our best, but now we were normal we spent more time together and we were in love again.

Maybe renewing our wedding vow's wasn't a bad idea after all.

"Do you want to renew our wedding vow's?" I asked

"well yer but I don't want it to necessarily be renewing our vow's I want it to be like a first wedding so it's just as important"

I loved that she was so thoughtful.

"I would love to marry you again"

(No this is not a horror story although it seems like it)

**Meredith**

It's still as bad the beating's although he now make's sure to miss my abdomen.

He's made us "friend's" with him and Addison and I don't know how long I can take it my only hope the person who I thought I could spend the rest of my life with was in someone else's arm's.

He still thought they were married.

The only thing keeping me going is the hope that he maysomeday remember and save me and my baby, yes my baby I will never admit to it being ryans and I can't say it's derek's because I'm to scared so it's mine and that's all there is to it.

He's home now I hide in the corner trying to stay out of view, it doesn't work he storm's into the room and pulls me by hair he start's kicking me and punching me dangerously close to my baby.

"You should be happy now huh" he smirked

I looked at him confused.

"There getting married and were invited"

"So how's it feel finally losing?" he asked

I looked at him seeing the evil in his eyes, Derek and Addison were getting married and for the second time that year I felt my heartbreaking.

---

so that was chapter 11 not very long but still... R+R PLEASE


	12. honestly

ok so i'm updating again yay please R+R

---

Chapter 12 - **_from Wild Horses by Natasha bedingfeild (All i want is the wind in my hair, to face the fear but I feel scared) _**

**__**

**A couple weeks's later Meredith was begining (she'll be about 5 months now I've decided) to show mark was getting more and more wary of Ryan's attitude's towards Meredith, Derek and Addison were still going great. **

"Meredith nice to see you how are you and the baby"

Addison was like this now she would be all fake and nice.

"I'm fine" ok so I did the same but hell everyone was being fake other than Derek and I suppose mark.

"Oh your getting big I'm sure ryan must be thrilled"

"He is" I stated plainly"

"Ok well I've got to go home to Derek he's so great I can't believe we're renewing our vows in a month"

"It's amazing how one minuet people can be divorced then just months late they're getting married again it makes you question whether they're really supposed to be together"

"They made a bad decision once but they would have learnt from it so I'd say they were gonna stay together forever because they would have only gotten stronger"

I wasn't gonna cry I had gotten stronger over time so I walked away and into a supply closet were I was sure no-one would find me until they did.

Derek

I was back at work finally chief was very reluctant.

Ryan had moved to seattle with his girlfriend although I think she moved here first I haven't actually spoken to her other than when she had asked me about how I was feeling and all that.

Anyway I was finally at work again and I needed a suture kit so I went to a supply closet to get one and there she was

"erm, your ryans girlfriend right"

"yer" she was obviously reluctant talking to me

"do you not like me or something cause you seem to really hate talking to me" I stated simply

"no I just I have issues"

"what kind of issues?" I questioned sitting down next to her.

"the kind that are better left unsaid"

"so it's a secret"

"yes"

"some secret's are meant to be told"

"not this one"

"go on you know I'll find out the only thing that spreads faster than disease around here is gossip."

"you wouldn't believe me"

"try me"

I looked deep into her eye's they were full of sorrow and regret.

"is it about the baby are you ok"

"I'm fine just messed up"

"what's messed you up tell me, don't make me beg"

"what if I told you this baby could be yours…"

---

i decided to do a cliff hope u like please R+R


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